Crying Over Baked Cookies

I just made these for the first time. Momma’s recipe, written on a random dinosaur/palm tree card…as far as I know the only one of its kind. 😂 Momma was very random with jotting things down. She always said “Girls, I’m so unorganized”. But, this splattered and smeared recipe card is a treasure!

Now, I knew it would probably feel sentimental making these. I loved when she made them; the thought of her pressing her thumb into every cookie; I’m sure giggling a bit because she always said they were “so fun to make!” She was adorable. 💕
But I did sort of end up losing it midway into the baking. One thought/memory led to another…
Christmas mid season 2017, when she brought the basket of all the things to make these cookies to my house…hoping she’d feel good enough… and then the basket sat til after New Years…and she never made them…again.

I read this thing a while back about kids growing up, and you never know it’s gonna be “the last time you”……carry them to bed, have them in your lap reading a book…whatever it may be…there is always a last time… It was awful! I cried and cried! Why do people write that stuff??!
So this “last time” thought took me to several of the hardest moments in the last few days with Momma; moments I knew, this would be the last time… darn those Facebook posts!!!

I doubled over the counter and I just let it go…Copper came running at me barking, not knowing what to do with the ugly cry noises…Thank God for Copper! His concerned barking was so sweet. It made me smile and decide I needed to get myself together. I straightened my apron and wiped my face.
The cookies turned out great in spite of my emotional breakdown.
But honestly…these cookies…it just might be the last time….